Does life make you CRAZY at times or can you just go with the flow?

I'm getting more them just a little frustrated I'm heading for crazy. Pa got my room done but now I can't seem to get it put together. I need things and I need my attic space done to store these things. The problem is that Pa is working, working and working. Now that is not a bad thing except he is tired and short of time, which means my stuff is not getting done.
It seems to me that if we pay to have the work finished all of Pa's hard work is for nothing. He is just tired and we haven't made any headway in either paying off bills or saving money.
So I guess I will just go a little crazy, make a big pile in the middle of my "darage house" and come fall move it, so Pa can work in there some more. Pay bills, save some money and show something for all his hard work.

Last week Pa and I were returning from big city. One of our stops that day was the gun shop. Pa is looking at a hand gun that holds shot gun shells.
When we first looked at this type gun last year I was fine with it, because I thought we would be moving to the deep country and it would come in handy should a snake decide to come to close. Now that we are not moving I see no need for this gun but we stopped and looked around.

Side story... there was a really cool round gun there. It was made in the late 1800's in Chicago and was probably used by dishonest people as it could be hidden in your hand....

I told Pa "I can deal with the rifles but don't want a hand gun around because of the children" Then I said "I don't really like rifles either guess that comes from almost killing my brother" to which Pa wanted to know what I was talking about.

The story:
We were down home in southern Illinois visiting family. My great grandparents and a couple of aunts & uncles lived up and down the road from grandma's. We were visiting the greats that day and I was wondering. They had a farm and the south side yard ran down to the barn yard drive, lots of wondering room. Grandma loved flowers and I was more then likely smelling each and every one, working my way down to the barn yard fence along the fence and back up to the house. There was a pump just outside the kitchen door and I most likely had to get a drink and that is when I noticed the boys. ..... Note Dad came from big family, he has sibling and cousins same age as his children....
My uncle and cousin had been down in the woods hunting and worked their way up to Grandma and Grandpa's. The boys were over on the north side of the house shooting at cans on the fence. I walked over and ask oldest brother what he thought he was doing. I'm sure he said something like "shooting cans stupid" I remember asking if I could shoot the gun and oldest brother handed me the one he had. I ask "are the bullets real"? "NO" the boys said.
I took that rifle, set the barrel on the side of brother's head and said " You mean if I shoot this gun nothing will happen to you"? I can still feel and see that moment. I can feel the pressure of my muscles tighten to pull the trigger, see the end of the gun at his head and feel the hand of God stopping my finger from pulling the trigger. I see the gun barrel moving down pointing towards the ground, see my brothers hands taking the rifle back and see my feet as I walk away to go do something else. Never giving it another thought.
I couldn't even tell you what event brought back that memory in later years. I just know that when it came I could still see it, feel it and feel God Almighty gently and firmly keeping my finger from moving. I can see myself walking way without the least bit of concern, yet knowing something I didn't understand had just happened. To this day it is one of the most intense memories I have and I know that I know that God's hand saved me that day.

Today was a good day for me. I spent it in Berry Hill an area just south of Nashville. Nothing big not a tourist place, just little houses built back in the 50-60's that now have specialty shops.
BabyGirl will have a few new beads, Bitsy will have a frilly skirt someday and Inkling's little guy will have a wooden snowman to build next year or maybe sooner.

Pa is on the finishing up side of my new sewing/craft room, then the job of filling it begins and that is going to be a BIG job. It is so nice and I really don't want to junk it up but I'm afraid that is what is going to happen once I get all my stuff in it. I just keep telling myself that it takes time to get organized then it will be fine. That is for a sewing/craft room.

Slow Recovery

It has been one week since I started down this road of recovery. The doctors say it will be a 6 week process if nothing else interferes. My days seem to mimic a small roller coaster, a time of even going then a fast drop bring on a deep weariness and need for nap. My chest feels like it has a tight wrap around it with a weight sitting in the middle of it that can get heavier and lighter depending on the hour.
I hope I never have pneumonia again.
Princess and Axle brought HT over last night for a visit. He has missed his toys and Grammy and I believe this past week he has lost the last little bit of his baby-ness and is now all little boy now. Time for Peter Pan to take him to Neverland for a time.

I have the flu.

My grand kids are disappointed that it is not the swine flu.

Since Pa and I try to make the grands happy as much as possible. I have given thought to going to hospital in hopes of picking up the bug just to bring celebrity to their lives. How many pre-k, first and third graders in cornfield America could brag on that?

"Hey my mom has a cold"

" My brother is throwing up"

"So my dad is throwing up and has diarrhea"

"Well my Grammy has swine flu"

You just can't get bigger points on the play ground, that's headline news stuff. They would be surrounded by bug eyed buddies wanting in on all the juicy details. By the end of the day everyone would know and there would be a hush as they walked down the hall, even the eighth graders would stand in awe.

I can just picture their moment in the sun, Hollywood style.




Soorrrrrry you'll just have to live through the shame of Grammy having the plan old fashion flu.

It's cool and rainy down here today. The cool part is the new part as we have had lots and lots of rain over the past 2 months.

Big News in the Realm
HT (heir to the thrown) is now sleeping in a cool new bed. Lighting McQueen is on the headboard or should that be the headplastic and also at the foot of the bed.
It is a red and blue bed. The red parts are plastic and the blue are metal.
I wasn't that big on this bed as it didn't look sturdy enough or classy enough to suit me. I' thinking about little girls too.

I looked around until I found a nice looking wood bed, at Toy's R Us, and a little wood table and chairs. Pa started to put the table together and the wood screw striped out just that fast, thus ending the whole wood being better concept.

FW told me that last night she laid down with Bitsy on her bed and Bitsy is the last of 4 to use that bed so there goes the sturdy issue. Lets get this straight between Bisty and FW the weight would total 125.

My next concern was,will he stay in the bed or will I have to tie him down. Let me tell you this child is good, so far no effort has been made to see what happens if he gets out of bed even after he wakes up. I'm very happy.

The next news event is potty training.
I wish it was as easy as changing to the new bed. After a week of trying and watching I'm not sure that HT is making the connection between him and the wet yet. He will try to go potty when you set him down but he isn't making the dash when the urge hits. We'll just keep trying and when he conquers we are going to the beach.

Maybe Bitsy would like go too as she is farther along in the dry pantie race.

Home and broken Hearth

HT and I have returned after a week of fun and frolicking in the land of FarmWife. Well, maybe not so much frolicking, at least not in the way I picture it, you know "Milo and Otis" style.
I could hardly run from tree to tree in Great Grandma's yard let alone a whole field. HT could almost run an acre or two. Then what almost 3 year old can't?

HT had a great time. He mowed grass with Pa at Grandma and Grandpa M&M's, spent time in the same room with cousin's P, L and B, they were playing together but only they knew it, went swimming and hot tubing with Pa at the hotel, babysit BabyGirl, raided #1 Son and BB's room claiming all toys with wheels, farmed and swam with Uncle Gick, helped Great Grandma Busha walk Pete and Pepper all over their BIG yard, killed Auntie Di then kissed her big toe to bring her back to life, hunted Jake cat in Grandpa Bucka shed, and finished his week by entertaining most of the people at church after getting away from Grammy then visiting with the piano player and crawling behind the minister and ending his journey laying down in front of the organ. You know it is funny when it is someone else.

99.9% of this past week was good but something else has been going on since before I left and with my return home that small percentage took a large leap and in the process broke most of my heart. Being very unsure how to proceed I am now in a state. I would like to hold one person responsible but there are 2 people in this web and I don't know how willing the second person was to be a part of the foolish.
I have been and will continue to pray about this but it is painful for Pa and me. I am not good with both keeping my mouth shut or voicing my feeling. I tend to say to much or say the wrong thing. So join me in praying that only what God wishes to be said is said or silence kept golden.